Autumn is my favourite season. There’s probably something to be said about that, the way the trees shed their leaves and become nothing more than their skeletons. I find myself shedding myself every time a change of perspective occurs in my life, usually a lesson in the form of a relationship but I never get down to my skeleton. I don’t allow myself total vulnerability and exposure, everything I try to rebuild is superficial, I just want people to see me differently, to think I’m beautiful, something to be appreciated. But I do not appreciate myself. I’m not strong enough to be the tree that resprouts it’s leaves and rebuilds itself, I’m still the leaf that has fallen on the ground and is slowly eroding away. I need to stop giving myself to the dirt and the creatures who thrive in it and learn to nourish myself and grow by myself, for myself.
These are just some pictures I’ve taken lately that I’m proud of. Sometimes finding beauty in things like this is enough to feel like a breath of fresh air and those seem to be few and far between lately. I’ll take them where I can get them.
Everything is so much prettier around sunset, especially towards the end of Autumn. Favourite time of year and day, always.
I went to the wildlife park again today, purely for the sake of exercise and giving my camera some use and managed to get a few good pictures, which I then spent the entire afternoon in bed editing while watching Will & Grace from the beginning. I have the worst headache again and I feel to sick to eat and I’m in too bad of a mood to leave my bed so all I’ve eaten today is a peanut butter and banana sandwich. Oh well. I spent most of my day off in bed today and I’m kind of annoyed about it.