January 26.

I had the laziest day today. I slept in, woke up late, drank a big pot of tea to myself, did a hair treatment, laid on the couch under my doona and watched 80’s/90’s movies all afternoon/night. I forgot how nice it is to be comfortable in my own company. I find myself alone often but it’s not always as easy to be in my own company as it was today, sometimes I struggle and overthink myself to a point of frustration and dissatisfaction with myself and my life but today I just felt so content. My mental state was in a really good place today and I felt so at ease within myself, which is rare for me. I hope this year I can feel this more often and not succumb to my unstable moods as much as last year. 2015/24 was probably the toughest year I’ve ever had in terms of mental health and stability. I feel like I completely lacked any grounding and I found myself spiralling so frequently I could never really get a grasp of myself to help myself. I think when I move into my new apartment I’m going to adopt/rescue a cat for companionship and support. I feel like having a sense of responsibility for something else will help me keep focussed on getting to a good place and knowing I can come home to cuddle a bundle of fluff and joy will give me a lot to look forward to. My cat that I’d had since I was 8 years old passed away on boxing day just gone and I feel a sense of emptiness knowing she’s no longer around and that she isn’t at my parents house when I go to visit them. I still look for her all the time.