I went to Adelaide a couple of weeks ago to hang out with Michael for the first time since January and see Balance and Composure and La Dispute and get my tattoo finished off. It was probably my most expensive four day trip ever (mostly because of my tattoo) but I definitely needed it and as soon as I stepped onto the tarmac I felt like I could breathe again. I’ve just felt like I’m suffocating here for so long and I feel like I’ve been watching myself drown without knowing how to pull myself out without the means of temporary escapes but as soon as I’m back here I start sinking again. I know I need to get out and I’m working towards that. A lot of things have come up this year that I want to do so I’ve been waiting around and wasting away waiting for these things to happen. I won’t be here this time next year, I’ve already decided. I checked out of this place and everything here a long time ago and I’m beginning to think that’s why I’m so tired and feel so lost all the time, my body is here but I am not and I’m trying to find and catch up to myself. No wonder I’ve been so run down for a year, I’ve been trying to outrun myself and I’ve gone too far. It’s weird to feel unstable when I have an income and a roof above my head and parents who support me (and still allow and want me to live with them) but I feel like I’m treading deep water and can’t seem to see any shore or anything I want to grab onto. It’s interesting and somewhat something I’m proud of that even when I’m struggling for a support system, I won’t compromise myself to find it. I’m sick of temporary escapes and temporary happiness and it’s time I took responsibility for myself and got myself onto solid ground, I’m just still trying to figure out how and where to go.
So on January 14th I got to see my favourite band in the whole wide world again after having not seen them since 2010. Matt, Michael and I were at the venue by 9am and hung around all day. I met up with Chloe, Briddey, Caitlin and their little group and we talked/hung out for most of the day. It was 46 degrees and there was no shelter (besides a car park) and no relief from the heat besides a sprinkler system set up across the car park that we made ocassional trips to in order to cool off and we had to cross the road and tram line (slowest traffic lights I’ve ever come across in my life I swear) to go across the road to The Gov (pub) and use their toilet. I’m sure everyone though the 50 or so of us that were there were insane. Eventually 6pm rolled around and the doors started to open, we were pretty close in the line but given that at Adelaide Entertainment Centre there is no order or organisation, as soon as doors opened, everyone stampeded in and people that got there at 4pm got in before those of us that had been there all day, some of them even pushed in front of my friends that had been there since 4am or earlier. Not impressed. So we didn’t end up with as good as a spot as planned but we ended up 7th from barrier in the beginning, 5th from barrier halfway through Paramore’s set and then 2nd/3rd from barrier during their encore. It was the most fun I’ve ever had in my life and next time they come back, I’m definitely doing the full tour. I feel like I missed out big time because I only did Adelaide, next time I want to do as many as possible, if not all. So Paramore, please come back before I am too old to follow you on tour!
You Me At Six: Stay With Me
Paramore: Grow Up.
Paramore: In The Mourning
Paramore: I’m Not Angry Anymore
Paramore: Part II outro
Paramore: Still Into You
I guess I got really slack with posting here. I’ve just been dealing with a lot of things and a lot of post relationship feelings that I thought were over but I guess they’re not. I went to Adelaide last week with Ozzie so she could see Tool play and it was fun. I definitely want to move up there now and kinda start my life over. I ended up having to buy a new laptop because my other one died and it was in the same week I had to replace my phone because I smashed it when I was drunk and stupid, so I went through about $1500 of my savings that week and it sucked. But now my phone and laptop are both white and match and they’re pretty.
I discovered a new bath bomb at Lush that I like (and I’d never even tried it or considered it before), Avobath. Smells so good. Treated myself to my 2 faves and that one + a lip stain I’ve been wanting for ages. I just wanna live in the city and work in a cute store like Lush or Typo and have cute city friends and do cute city things. I’m going to move up asap.
I went to Adelaide for a week to visit Michael and I had a really good time. Spent the entire 6 hour bus trip up listening to the new The Story So Far album which is definitely my album of the year (unless Paramore tops it). Every song is so relatable, Bad Luck is basically the story of my life and my last relationship and break up. I’m only just realising how messed up I am because of her so I’m thinking of getting therapy. Also making plans to move to Adelaide soon because I felt so at home there and so much happier. When I got home last night and walked into my room I kinda just wanted to sit on the floor and cry because of being surrounded by constant reminders of my ex. This whole town is a constant reminder and I want out, even though she doesn’t live here. I’m going to start doing everything I want this year, I started by getting my inverted naval piercing which I’ve wanted for years and kept putting off. Finally did it and I’m so glad and I’m in love with it.
We went to Monarto Zoo in Adelaide and unfortunately the meerkats weren’t there :(. I did see giraffes though and hyenas! Hyenas are my favourite land animal. Sadly we couldn’t walk around to them so I could get decent photos of them but I may have gotten a couple satisfactory ones on my camera so when I edit them I’ll post them. We also went to Hahndorf which is like a little Germany town in the Adelaide Hills and it’s super cute. We went to a place where you can make your own candles but unfortunately we didn’t, I wish I did. I’ll have to go back and do that. We ate at this super cute cafe which had all fresh sort of foods, has fhe greatest toasted cheese sandwich with tomato, lettuce, purple basil and a beetroot spread on it. And fresh watermelon juice! Delicious.
I really haven’t been bothered to do anything since I got home besides eat. Luckily I don’t have to work until tomorrow, not at all looking forward to going back. But I’m going back up to Adelaide at the end of next month with Ozzie because she wants to see Tool so we’re going up and she’s going to the concert herself. Hopefully I cab save a bit of money before then because I spent a lot in Adelaide this time round. Bought lots of nice winter clothes though so that’s exciting. I love winter.
I can’t believe how slack I got with updating this. My bad.