Autumn is my favourite season. There’s probably something to be said about that, the way the trees shed their leaves and become nothing more than their skeletons. I find myself shedding myself every time a change of perspective occurs in my life, usually a lesson in the form of a relationship but I never get down to my skeleton. I don’t allow myself total vulnerability and exposure, everything I try to rebuild is superficial, I just want people to see me differently, to think I’m beautiful, something to be appreciated. But I do not appreciate myself. I’m not strong enough to be the tree that resprouts it’s leaves and rebuilds itself, I’m still the leaf that has fallen on the ground and is slowly eroding away. I need to stop giving myself to the dirt and the creatures who thrive in it and learn to nourish myself and grow by myself, for myself.
I feel like I’m in the best mental place I’ve been in for a long time now and I feel like I’m so much less interesting and insightful when I’m happy. I don’t know the word for it but I … Continue reading
I’m trying really hard to get more into the Christmas-y spirit. I can’t remember the last time I was really excited about Christmas but this year I have Sebastian and C to spend it with. I’m really excited to spend … Continue reading