Break-over phase II.

I haven’t updated in a month, though I’ve been meaning to. Nothing too exciting has happened, mostly working, but there have been a few fun things between. I ventured off into Victoria again and saw (drove by) the Grampians, went to Portland and finally saw Cape Bridgewater, which is gorgeous. Definitely need to go swimming there in summer, look at that blue water! Michael came down from Adelaide to visit and he did his thing on my hair. I now finally have a red to orange ombre that I’ve been lusting after for so long. I’m so happy. He’s ridic. talented and I can’t wait to live in Adelaide where I can go to him for my hair all the time. The camera that I wanted and was going to put my tax return towards became unavailable/was out of stock so I decided it was a sign to be responsible and put the money into savings to move with, so I did. And then a couple of days ago, I got an email saying it was available again AND in the colour/version I want! Sucks that I now can’t allow myself to buy it. I love my Pentax but sometimes I just crave new things. Going to break out my little Pentax baby on a sunny spring day and get myself back into the habit of using an actual camera to take photo’s, rather than using my phone. Which does the job and produces some awesome images, but I put a lot of money towards my Pentax and I’d hate to waste it.

I’m currently off work for about a week with a flu of some kind, my doctor said she wants me resting and not working, so my kidney can rest and so my blood pressure can calm. Although, it was lower this time! Still not great but it was definitely lower, but she said it could be because I’m sick so we’re checking it again in October/November when she does my blood test results again. Never thought going to get a prescription for the pill would open all these doors, dang. As long as things are being looked after, I guess. My diet has been shocking (I’m talking fast food more than once a week) because I’m still in a weird place since my break up and I’m at the “I don’t give a f**k about anything” stage, which will catch up to me eventually, I’m sure.

In some weird moment of self reflection after waking up hungover on Sunday I realised what the actual reason I started drinking after my break up was-  I thought it would bring Lauren back (even though I don’t want her back), I thought it would piss her off into caring again (which it hasn’t, I don’t think she cares how I end up, frankly). I guess I’m still struggling to let go of someone/something that meant everything to me for 7 years. It was a pretty disappointing moment, to realise how weak and pathetic I actually am and how vulnerable I still am to her, even without her being a direct issue. Here’s hoping I can grow up and actually be the strong person my friends and family think I am. Starting with making decisions for myself that I need to make, even if they’re stressful or difficult to begin with.

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